Our Savior!!

#words #faith and a #contriteheart #confession belief in the sacrificial atonement of the one who came as a child, died on the cross, to save a sinner like me and you!

PLANNING YOUR WEDDING PART 2: ESTABLISHING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES WITH FAMILY By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott.

PLANNING YOUR WEDDING PART 2: ESTABLISHING

HEALTHY BOUNDARIES WITH FAMILY

By November 28, 2018

Boundaries are critically important in marriage. They protect you as a couple from negative outside influences, helping you to strengthen and maintain a healthy relationship from within.

If you don’t have boundaries yet, you need to have a discussion with your fiance about what those boundaries need to entail. The wedding planning season isn’t the easiest time to enact boundaries, but if you don’t already have them as a couple, it’s a good time to establish them.

That’s because planning your wedding is one of your first big opportunities to exercise boundaries. While the two of you attempt to plan your big day together, you’re going to get a lot of noise coming in from the outside. Boundaries can help you filter that noise. (Check out part 1 of our wedding planning series here if you missed it!)

Here’s how you can exercise your boundaries while you’re planning the wedding.

1. STICK TO YOUR PLANS–UNLESS YOU AGREE TO CHANGES TOGETHER

If you and your fiance are working together to plan your wedding, stick to your plans. Don’t let someone else’s whims or demands derail you. There are ways to not cave, while still being respectful.

Family pressure is always tough, especially when it involves wedding plans. Mothers, in particular, tend to have very deeply-held convictions about what they want for their sons’ and daughters’ big day. If their grand visions don’t line up with yours, stick to what you and your fiance have planned.

2. ANTICIPATE PRESSURE AND PLAN YOUR RESPONSE

It’s wise to anticipate at least some level of pressure from family or future in-laws. If you realize early on that this could happen, it gives you a chance to plan how you’ll respond. You can:

Defer to one another regarding wedding-related decisions (i.e., “Let me ask him/her”)
Diplomatically delay providing answers to demands (“Thanks for the suggestion; let us give that some thought”)
Kindly refuse to have certain conversations regarding plans you don’t want to commit to

While enforcing your boundaries isn’t always pleasant–particularly when they apply to family–they’re essential to protecting your relationship. They also help you to not feel so pulled in one direction or another.

3. KEEP YOUR COOL, BUT STAND YOUR GROUND

Planning a wedding can get intense and stressful at times. In fact, it can feel like navigating a field of landmines. Boundaries can help you navigate that field, and they give you a higher chance of defusing those mines before they explode.

As the two of you stand your ground in the decisions you’ve made for your day, keep a cool head. Your wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime experience that should belong to you. While it’s okay to listen to ideas and opinions, you don’t have to take them. Just be sure to stay as calm as you can and be kind in your responses; you don’t want to look back on this time with feelings of regret for how you handled yourself.

BONUS: IS THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN DELEGATE?

We all have relatives who are very enthusiastic about being involved in our big plans. Maybe you want them to feel included without giving up the most important decisions.

If that’s the case, are there portions of the festivities that you can hand off? Does your enthusiastic family member have a particular talent or interest they can lend to planning, decor, or entertainment? Consider whether there are parts of the celebration you can entrust to them so they can make their mark.

Next week, we’ll wrap up our series with part 3, which will help you navigate conflicts that might arise in the midst of your wedding planning season. See you then!

Are you in the thick of wedding planning right now? How are you and your fiance establishing healthy boundaries with your families during this process? We’d love for you to share your experiences with us in the comments.

Psalms Chapter 51:16-19

Psalms Chapter 51: Verses: 16-19

(Unless otherwise cited all the scriptural references in this devotional are from the King James Version of the Bible).

Context

David pleas to God for the forgiveness of his sin. This psalm appears to be about David’s most memorable sin. His sin with Bathsheba.  Psalm 51 is written after Nathan the prophet visits David to pronounce God’s judgment on the king because of the murder of Uriah and all of his men 2 Sam. 12.  

Verses 16– 17 Begin with the implication that God is asking His people If he did, then the psalmist would bring one. Instead of animal sacrifice, God desires a broken and contrite heart, that is, a heart saddened by sin and ready to disown it and turn away from it.

16For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering. 17The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

Verses 16– 17 begins with the implication that God is asking His people to offer sacrifices to Him.

This is a common error of the early church. People would conduct self-flagellation as a type of religious experience that indicated piety. Some people believe that they must give almost all of their salary to their religious organization for them to be righteous. Some Muslims believe that killing “infidels”  will result in them receiving much favor from Allah.

It does not matter what religious affiliation we belong to humans do not understand this one thing. God only wants his children to have “broken and a contrite heart.” But what does a “broken and a contrite heart mean? It basically says that people with a broken and a contrite heart are willing to do what God asks them to do in His holy word. They are not looking for excuses as to why they should not do it. Tithing is one of the biggest misnomers in Christiandom. We make all sorts of excuses why we should not be given on a regular basis to God’s work. The following is an excerpt from a blog posting on this principle.

What is the Tithe?

The word “tithe” comes from an Old English root meaning “one tenth.” It is the common English translation for the Old Testament Hebrew asar word group. The tithe was an offering of one’s agricultural income to the Lord as an expression of thanks and dedication. In the Old Testament agricultural economy, tithes were paid not in cash, gold or goods but in crops or livestock, for only the agricultural fruit of the promised land was to be tithed—not other forms of income. Although today we commonly think of the tithe as “10 percent” as a result, apparently there are three tithes in the Old Testament, two every year and a third every third year, or an average of 23.3 percent of one’s annual produce from the land. There was also provision for freewill offerings and personal giving above and beyond the tithe, so that the tithe never stood alone. Tithes were given by the patriarchs Abraham (Genesis 4:17-20) and Jacob (Genesis 28:22); a system of tithes was instituted in the law of God given through Moses (Deuteronomy 12Deuteronomy 14Deuteronomy 26; and the prophets rebuked the children of Israel for failing to give the tithe to God (Malachi 3:8). Read the rest of this article here. On a personal note, I will say that there is no such thing as being too poor to tithe. Why?

Here are some biblical examples.

The Widow’s Offering Mark 12:41-44  (NIV)

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”

New Testament References about giving. The NT does not address “a tithe” as a specific amount. It does address giving.  Matthew 6:21 says “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  When we are able to give 10% or more of our income instead of keeping that money for ourselves, it shows that our heart isn’t tied to our money and that we love God more than our money. In 2013 my financial world was turned upside down. I became too ill a full-time job. I was forced into retirement early. I do remember giving, not just o my local church but to other endeavors that support kingdom work. Was it because I expected God to give me something in return? No, I felt that he had blessed me so much that I could give to this ministry’s Facebook endeavors by supporting others who were working with us in reaching others, by establishing relationships with them. They needed tools to carry out that job. Now that I am on a very limited income, I still give. Not as much as I was able to give, but I give none the less. God does not need our money. He just wants to see where our treasure is.  It takes a broken and a contrite heart to give of our best to the work of God.  It should not be a once in a blue moon event either. It should be consistent. Can you imagine what would happen to churches all over the world if people gave “when they felt” like it? Even more doors would be closing. It is a malady that is an international one. It takes a broken and a contrite heart to see outside of one’s circumstances to serve God and to trust him to give for us. He does not want penance, nor sporadically deciding when we will give of our best to Him and His work. Sometimes it will take a lot of faith to continue giving. But are we not called to walk by faith? The New Testament actually tells us to give of our abundance, not just a tithe.

What and how much we give is determined by how “broken and contrite”  our hearts are.

18Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem. 

During the time of David’s reign, there was nothing wrong with the walls of Jerusalem. Longman has an explanation for this verse, “It is possible, if not likely, that these verses were added later in the history of Israel, perhaps during the exilic or post-exilic period. That may be why sacrifice is mentioned. The restoration of the city means that that the destroyed temple would be rebuilt and the offering of sacrifices could begin again, to God’s great delight” (Longman 2014, 223). In an NT context, the church is the spiritual house of God. and its walls are salvation (offered to all who will listen to the call of the Holy Spirit). The new Jerusalem will have special walls. “It had a great, high wall with twelve gates, and with twelve angels at the gates. On the gates were written the names of the twelve tribes of Israel” (Rev. 21:12 NIV). God’s people will not have to worry about re-building walls there.

19Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.

This verse is challenging to many. What does David mean when he says “then?” Could he be looking forward to a time when the ultimate sacrifice of the ONLY righteous one, Jesus Christ, would give His life for sinful mankind? Or is he looking inward and voicing the fact that ritual sacrifices and celebrations are meaningless to God? God wants us to worship him in spirit and in truth. The only way we can do that is with a repentance attitude and a broken and contrite heart. 

Previous Older Entries

© You Are Not The Only One Ministries & Consulting Services Inc.,  All Rights Reserved.

Unless otherwise cited Written devotionals and posts on this page are the property of this ministry. You-Tube Videos are not the property of this ministry.

%d bloggers like this: