My Conversion Story EM

I have not always been a Christian

I was a mixed up teenager who was angry with her parents for lying to her. I did not have any respect for the position “father” or even the idea of fatherhood.  My father lied to me and told me that his wife was my mother.  I accidentally found out that she was not and that my mother was never married to my father.  I was abandoned on the front door step of my grandmother’s home at age two weeks.  As far as I was concerned God did not care about me, or he would not have allowed that to happen. I became involved in activities that shamed my parents and would have shamed my grandmother.  I wanted to be in a girl’s home. I felt that anything was better than living with parents who lied to me.  I ran away from home at age 12.  I ran away because my father lied to me.  He told me I could go to visit my grandmother.  She was the only mother I knew from birth until I was age nine.  She never lied to me.  I wanted to be with her for my summer holidays.  I took the bus, the tube, and the train from Charring Cross to Aylesbury where my grandmother lived.  When I got there, I found out she was dying from cancer.  I took care of her as much as I could.  I slept next to her bedroom. Do I remember when I was converted? Maybe not the day, date, but the hour yes. It was right after my Grandmama died of breast cancer. She told me to go to sleep early. I just couldn’t!! That night, that very night I knew my Grandmama was going to Jesus. I felt it in my spirit. The loneliness that enveloped my soul was unbearable. You see she was the rock of my life. I am the only child of her only son [the one who would inherit the family estate]. I was in the midst of my cousins – you will find out about that when I publish my recovery story – but I felt totally and utterly alone! The hand of God reached down and touched me. I experienced peace like I have never experienced before. Strength – inner strength – that I had never experienced before and comfort. I heard, “You are not alone!’ I knew where my Grandmama was going, and I wanted to be there too! I knew that God loved me, and I wanted to love him back.

I realized I needed Jesus and received Him into my life when…

I was a very unhappy and broken teenager when my grandmother died. I remember her telling me that I needed Jesus.  I knelt down beside my bed and thought about eternity without Jesus, and my grandmother and the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart.  God reminded me that he has never abandoned me. The tears that flowed from my soul that night was for me and my grandmother. It was also because for the first time in my life I truly felt the love of God.  I experienced a deep peace that I had not felt since I found out about the beginnings of my life.  I knew God loved me, and I knew he was my personal Lord and Savior.  I knew he died on the cross for me.

The biggest change I have noticed in my life is..

I experienced a level of peace and joy, after I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, that I had never experienced before.  The joy of the Lord was my bubbling brook.  I found myself singing all day long.  Every song that I sang was about his love, mercy and peace. His praises flooded my mind.  I found myself talking to my friends about him. I knew where my grandmother was, and I knew that she was safe in the arms of Jesus.  That knowledge gave me peace.

I began to realize that the love of God was the greatest gift that I had ever received in my life.  It was free.  It did not require me to do anything, except to accept it and Jesus Christ.  However, I also knew that if I moved away from him or lost my way that his love for me would never change. I was no longer an emotionally abandoned teenager.  I had a father, one who loved me more than I could even begin to imagine.  I had a father, one who would never lie to me. I had a heavenly father who knew all about the sinful and despicable things that I had done, but he still loved me.  Everything around me changed.  I loved life. I enjoyed nature with a different mindset, but more importantly I wanted to help others.  I had a love for people that was not with me before my conversion.  I experienced forgiveness and the ability to forgive my father and step-mother.  I didn’t think that was possible.  But God’s love showed me how to love others even when they have hurt me. I learned at a young age how to “take the high road”.  I have been taking the “high road” ever since that day. WHY am I willing to serve God with all of my heart soul mind and strength? Because he brought me out of the mud, filth, and mire of sin, put me in the Holy Spirit bathtub, and cleanse me with the disinfectant of his precious blood – which is permanent erasure of sin, by the way – then called me “righteous”. I have not forgotten the moment.

So, yes he is my rock, my fortress, my strength and my everything! Do you know him? When you are troubled, and it feels like the entire world is on your shoulders, just know that it does not have to be that way. You can give it to THE ROCK!

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Ann Smith Warren
    Mar 01, 2015 @ 21:51:52

    AMEN!!! GOD IS OUR ROCK!!!!

    Reply

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You’re Not the Only One

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Four Fast Friends LLC

You're Not the Only One
PO Box 968
Hardeeville SC 29927

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