What does a spiritual battle look like?

I can’t really speak for others but I can witness to what MY spiritual battle looks like.

One of my best friends recently commented on one of my posts-No matter how long the darkness seems, God has the light!
The post is as follows:

U need to tell of how intense the darkness was and what it did to your body, spirit, and mind. There are many people who are suffering from this and don’t even know it. They laugh it off as if it is not there. The enemy knows and loves that tactic..because as long as he can keep us busy pretending that the problem does not exist, or that some human being can take it away–he can continue to mess with our walk, and the plans that God has for us. This is intense and serious.

So I am digging out the memories once again. The difference is this has happened off and on for the last two years. Well this episode anyway. In reality I have been dealing with these episodes since my first memories of my life. But facetiously I thought I had conquered those demons, when all I had done was locked them up in a very deep dark closet. But at different times over the years, several things have happened to bring them out of that closet. 

This latest round was brought on by the mental trauma of feeling my own mortality. Call it middle age, old age, menopause, what ever label you want to put on it. But when the reality of the situation hits you in the face, and you can no longer con yourself into believing that this is all temporary. It becomes frighteningly real! You can still joke about it. Make up funny sayings to cover your pain. But at some point, that just doesn’t cut it any more. That is when the depression took over for me. I don’t mean your average every day “I am so tired of this, I just want to go to sleep and forget about it” type of depression. Those the Lord and I could always jerk me out of. The depression that I am talking about takes you to the very bottom of your psyche and dumps you there. You can’t find a way out. You stay in bed for days, eat yourself into oblivion (or it may be the opposite for some people). For me it was the first type. 

Add that to the equation of being out of work. You are told you are no longer able to work. Now, I can see what you are thinking right about now…….That would be wonderful….no work for a while….lay up in bed….eat every thing in sight. That is what I would have thought at one time. That would be
HEAVEN…..Until it is not an option, it has become your reality. I have worked the major portion of my adult life. Not cushy gravy train jobs. I have driven an 18 wheeler to every single one of the continental United States , both ends of Canada and old Mexico. I have been a CAM certified apartment manager of mostly Section 8 type properties (they are called low-income now). Not easy jobs to say the least. But now all of a sudden, I injured my knee, had surgery, had to be fitted with hearing aids in both ears (of which the receiver has had to be increased once already and needs to be done again). My eyesight has decreased to the point of having to wear trifocals and to add insult to injury I have gained approximately 125 lbs since high school. I can now look at a bottle of any type of steroid type medication and gain 10 lbs! 
In all of this time my faith has increased by a hundredfold. A year and a half ago the Lord began really committing on me to step out in faith and with the gentle nudging of a couple of extremely good friends, we began this blog. 
TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW
Ever since I heard this song the first time, I would literally turn the radio to another channel when this started playing. I heard it all the way through today and understood the words as plain as if I was reading them. Now I know why Satan did not want me to hear this song. Listen to the words and feel the pain. And know that God is always holding on!

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14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Joyce Gerald/EM
    Jul 22, 2011 @ 10:01:19

    Thank you Lord for this witness..please allow it to reach hundreds if not thousands for the kingdom. Use it to cause many others to share it so that you can free your people from the grip that the enemy has on their minds, and their lives. Use it to glorify you and SET the captives FREE – in Jesus name AMEN!.

    Reply

  2. Wynette aka Flip Flip
    Jul 22, 2011 @ 12:22:35

    AMEN!!

    Reply

  3. Sherri
    Jul 22, 2011 @ 14:33:14

    AMEN JOYCE!!!!

    Wyn….WOW….what a testimony!! Thank you so much for sharing your life with us! What a witness, what a testimony to the Glory of God!!

    I love this song: East to the West!! I cannot listen to this song, WITHOUT turning the volume way up HIGH…! I thank God for this song! I love Casting Crowns` music. Never heard of them until the movie “Fireproof” came out!!

    You’re a blessing Wyn…!! 😎

    Reply

  4. Sherri
    Jul 22, 2011 @ 14:34:18

    This is the second time I’ve read this……but…now on to part 2!! 🙂

    Reply

  5. Bueller
    Jul 22, 2011 @ 18:59:07

    Excellent Flip, you and God are on a roll right now!! I managed to read part two first and then part one, but then we’ve discussed a lot of this and I’m excited that you have the focus to discuss it with absolute strangers. Takes a lot of courage, my friend, as did all the years of trying to fix your own problems. 🙂

    Reply

  6. Wynette aka Flip Flip
    Jul 22, 2011 @ 19:13:35

    Thank you ladies! Without God I would not have the strength much less the courage. 🙂

    Reply

  7. Joyce Gerald/EM
    Jul 22, 2011 @ 20:11:24

    🙂

    Reply

  8. Bernice
    Jul 22, 2011 @ 21:08:55

    I am wondering out loud really if the Lord takes all His children into this darkness at one point so as to bring us to total dependence on Him. I’ve so been there, too. Different circumstance, same results. Wondering if it’s a gifting thing or just a spiritual season.

    There is always hope. Even in physical death I’ve seen hope in Christ. I’ve witness Christians dying, restless from “fighting” it, and when hymns were sung, sudden relief. I’ve witnessed the very presence of God as one lady lay dying and her family sang hymns in Spanish. That was quite moving. Nevertheless, knowing there is always hope in my Jesus keeps me going lots. (even if I need reminders from others every now and again 🙂

    Blessings on you Wynette and Joyce. Blessings on you for having the courage and the self-discipline to write this blog as you do. I know God’s in it and in you two 🙂

    Reply

  9. Joyce Gerald/EM
    Jul 22, 2011 @ 21:38:50

    “I am wondering out loud really if the Lord takes all His children into this darkness at one point so as to bring us to total dependence on Him. ” IF THIS IS THE ONLY WAY THAT WE WILL LEARN DEPENDENCE! 😦

    Reply

  10. barbara woods-harris
    Jul 23, 2011 @ 10:13:51

    TEXAS..you have me in tears right now..I can’t find part two…feeling this is me lately, and needing the end story..lol..I don’t want this to be the ‘ONLY WAY THAT I LEARN DEPENDENCE’ I want to depend on Him and know that He has already pulled me through…and I think I have it, and then yesterday at work, I had my first ever hot flash..I thought I would melt..I knew not what it was, just thought the air was low..but my older than me friend said “baby it’s a hot flash”..omgoodness I couldn’t stop crying….I’m a hormonal wreck..and very scared of it all..which is very hard for me, I don’t get scared of anything..(well scary movies..lol) but everything else I storm into hard core, knowing I am strong enough to overcome it all…not so much this..sorry for writing so much..and not sure why I can’t stop crying right now..:(
    Going to look for part two..

    Reply

  11. Joyce Gerald/EM
    Jul 23, 2011 @ 11:12:43

    knowing I am strong enough to overcome it all…WYN i AM GOING TO COMMENT HERE.. sorry.. BABS.. that is why WYN is in this deep spiritual battle.. the enemy knows those of us who think WE can get ourselves through anything… he will KEEP TURNING THE HEAT UP UNTIL WE abandon it all to GOD!! That is why I told WYN to post this story… here is part 1 https://urnottheonlyone.com/2011/07/22/what-does-a-spiritual-battle-look-like-part-2/

    Reply

  12. Bueller
    Jul 23, 2011 @ 12:54:31

    And, the battle never ends!! There is always something he will throw in our way to make it difficult to continue believing. But, believe we must or else we are damned!!

    Reply

  13. Wynette aka Flip Flip
    Jul 23, 2011 @ 13:05:48

    That is fine Em. You said it better than I could, more than likely. Keep reading each day Babs. There are 4 parts and I will post a new one each day until they are done. Be sure and reads today and watch the video at the end. This too shall pass! There is a light at the end of the tunnel!

    Reply

  14. Barbara Woods-Harris
    Jul 24, 2011 @ 01:12:33

    thanks ladies..you are so right Em, as soon as I reread it, I realized I can’t get me through anything..and I love the comment “keep turning the heat up”..(pun intended..lol)
    reading everyday, hard to post, it asks me for all types of stuff before it will let me post..:) but I will not let him not allow me to benefit from this blog..so with His help I will commet..this too shall pass…
    Wish I had somebody who went through menapause to guide me..but nobody I know yet…older two sisters not yet..I need a menapause mentor..lol..any takers out there..lol…
    and again I’m crying..as Em would say OOYYYYY tricky hormones…

    can’t wait to read the rest…
    and thanks for posting it to my wall everyday Texas, with all my blogging to do, and this crazy fog…I forget to come here some days..not gonna allow that to happen anymore..

    Thank you for the daily devotional today..it was so for me..:)
    love ya

    Reply

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