You Are Not the Only One

This past month has been one of intense introspection. I have started 5 or 6 articles, only to hit the delete button on every one of them. I have had numerous hours of meditation and prayer. I have concluded that I will just have to start typing and see where the Lord leads me at this precise moment.
There are, unfortunately, too many times in my life that I have dealt with different types of abuse.

It is horrific to contemplate all the myriad ways that we can be cruel and hurtful to each other. As long as there are egos and a warped sense of values, there will always be those out to diminish the ones around them. For some twisted reasons, these persons feel the only way to elevate themselves is to destroy the ones closest to them.

3 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. ² For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, ³ heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, ⁴ treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, ⁵ having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. ⁶ For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, ⁷ always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth. ⁸ Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men corrupted in mind and disqualified regarding the faith. 

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Timothy+3%3A1-8&version=ESV

Just when you think you have seen the worst that the human race can put forth, you find one that has outdone even that. The only way to change this outcome is to change our focus. Instead of chasing the all-mighty dollar and all this entails, we should focus on the fruits of the spirit. I admit that I often don’t understand why bad things happen. Even so, I believe that God has a purpose for everything He does or permits.

My faith is rooted in the biblical principle that says the Lord is sovereign (Ps. 22:28).

He is in absolute control of this universe, this earth’s natural and political climate, and my life and yours. But as time goes on, it becomes clearer that the reasoning behind the trials I have endured would be the basis of the ministry I am in right now. I know that some people are out there reading my story and, more than likely, are saying this can not possibly be true. That many things can not happen to one person. That is the very reason I go into such detail in describing my life. For people who have experienced that type of abuse, they will know it is true. You would not be able to write the details of such horror if you had not lived through it. Those are the people who I am reaching out to. For the ones that are just beginning to see the signs of such things, maybe it will be the one thing they need to get out of that situation before it is too late.
I am just now beginning to realize just how far back these situations go.

I have just 3 memories from when I was born to age 6. The first was my own willful disobedience. My Mom had told my sister and me NOT to go down to the pump jacks and to never try to get up on one. Even though they looked just like a really large seesaw. Lol. Well, we did it anyway. I could not have been older than 4 years old. And one of the only times my Mom spanked me. And she did spank me and my sister all the way back to the house. I never did go back to the pump jacks ever again. LOL

Scripture states: ” 1 Samuel 15:23 ESV For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and presumption is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has also rejected you from being king.” https://www.bible.com/bible/59/1sa.15.23

The other memory was of my stepdad putting me on a Shetland pony by the name of Sugar. Boy, did they give that pony the wrong name or what! She was anything but sugar. She did not have a bridle or saddle when he put me up on her. But she did have an attitude. She took off at a dead run for the other end of the corral, and just as we got to the end of the corral, she pitched me off, and I landed with my left arm under me. I lay there for what seemed like hours, but it was only minutes before my Uncle came running up and asking me if I was ok. I told him I thought my arm was broken. He looked at it, and he knew I was right. He picked me up and carried me back to the front of the corral where the others were standing. He told my stepdad to get the truck so we could go to the ER, and my stepdad replied, “Why, I have had worse injuries than that on my lip and had to whistle for a living.” My Uncle was livid! He told my Aunt to go get the car and my Mom (she was in the kitchen cooking dinner for everyone and did not see what had happened). I overheard my Uncle tell my Aunt that my stepdad just laughed when Sugar threw me and commented, “We will see how tough she is now, won’t we?” When we got home, my stepdad refused to speak to me except to say, “Are you happy now? You just ruined the day for everyone”. And he turned around and walked off.
That was the beginning of my unrealistic opinion of my self-worth. Regardless of what anyone said, I always felt that it was my fault that the day was ruined and my Aunt and Uncle went home early.
But this has also added another layer to who I am today.

http://youtu.be/ig2m-zFBeBE WE DO NOT OWN THE RIGHT TO THIS VIDEO,