Conflict is a part of life. So?

#conflict #resolution

Conflict is a part of life. How we resolve conflict shows our character.

We can be passive-aggressive and use the silent treatment when we enter an incident of conflict with another person. Passive-aggressive will conform to the situation that resulted in the conflict, but they are doing so under silent protest. They think that they know all about everything and have solutions for everything. Think about that and determine how effective it is. Does this method heal the pain we are experiencing due to the conflict event, or does it make it worse?

The person who stays in the “safety” zone collaborates to reach a resolution for conflict using healthy dialogue. We can move from conflict to collaboration and come to an understanding that de-escalates the battle and results in a fruitful dialogue.

Or we can use verbal and or physical violence to resolve the conflict.  Verbal violence/abuse will make us feel powerful for a while, but it destroys dialogue, and will eventually create emotional violence in our minds. There is never any safety in verbal and or physical violence. Even if we literally kill the other person, we will find ourselves in an environment where violence becomes our daily norm. That can be physical and or emotional violence/disturbance. Dialogue is the only way to end the conflict in an amicable way. Conflict does not have to be a bad thing. It can and will grow relationships. Conflict, when handled correctly, is healthy and necessary in all relationships. 

Jesus has a 4 step plan for resolving conflict. Matthew 18

15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.  16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. 18 Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

  1. Resolve it Quickly: Matthew 5:23-25
  2. Resolve it with a Face to Face conversation: Matthew 18:15
  3. Resolve it with One-on-One dialoguing: Matthew 18:15
  4. If you need to, Get help to resolve it: Matthew 18:16-17. Not your social media friends who are going to give the person a thrashing.

Follow this plan. It works. Follow it with prayer and humility.


Prayer: Father, we know that you love us, and we also know that you see the baggage we bring to our relationships with others. Teach us how to resolve conflicts your way and also how to grow in our relationships with others-Selah.

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