I can’t really speak for others but I can witness to what MY spiritual battle looks like.
One of my best friends recently commented on one of my posts-No matter how long the darkness seems, God has the light!
The post is as follows:
U need to tell of how intense the darkness was and what it did to your body, spirit, and mind. There are many people who are suffering from this and don’t even know it. They laugh it off as if it is not there. The enemy knows and loves that tactic..because as long as he can keep us busy pretending that the problem does not exist, or that some human being can take it away–he can continue to mess with our walk, and the plans that God has for us. This is intense and serious.
So I am digging out the memories once again. The difference is this has happened off and on for the last two years. Well this episode anyway. In reality I have been dealing with these episodes since my first memories of my life. But facetiously I thought I had conquered those demons, when all I had done was locked them up in a very deep dark closet. But at different times over the years, several things have happened to bring them out of that closet.
This latest round was brought on by the mental trauma of feeling my own mortality. Call it middle age, old age, menopause, what ever label you want to put on it. But when the reality of the situation hits you in the face, and you can no longer con yourself into believing that this is all temporary. It becomes frighteningly real! You can still joke about it. Make up funny sayings to cover your pain. But at some point, that just doesn’t cut it any more. That is when the depression took over for me. I don’t mean your average every day “I am so tired of this, I just want to go to sleep and forget about it” type of depression. Those the Lord and I could always jerk me out of. The depression that I am talking about takes you to the very bottom of your psyche and dumps you there. You can’t find a way out. You stay in bed for days, eat yourself into oblivion (or it may be the opposite for some people). For me it was the first type.
Add that to the equation of being out of work. You are told you are no longer able to work. Now, I can see what you are thinking right about now…….That would be wonderful….no work for a while….lay up in bed….eat every thing in sight. That is what I would have thought at one time. That would be
HEAVEN…..Until it is not an option, it has become your reality. I have worked the major portion of my adult life. Not cushy gravy train jobs. I have driven an 18 wheeler to every single one of the continental United States , both ends of Canada and old Mexico. I have been a CAM certified apartment manager of mostly Section 8 type properties (they are called low-income now). Not easy jobs to say the least. But now all of a sudden, I injured my knee, had surgery, had to be fitted with hearing aids in both ears (of which the receiver has had to be increased once already and needs to be done again). My eyesight has decreased to the point of having to wear trifocals and to add insult to injury I have gained approximately 125 lbs since high school. I can now look at a bottle of any type of steroid type medication and gain 10 lbs!
In all of this time my faith has increased by a hundredfold. A year and a half ago the Lord began really committing on me to step out in faith and with the gentle nudging of a couple of extremely good friends, we began this blog.
TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW
Ever since I heard this song the first time, I would literally turn the radio to another channel when this started playing. I heard it all the way through today and understood the words as plain as if I was reading them. Now I know why Satan did not want me to hear this song. Listen to the words and feel the pain. And know that God is always holding on!
You Are Not the Only One 